sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
