I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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