She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize