Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
