dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
