i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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