dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
