I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
