I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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