my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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