My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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