Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
