is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
