he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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