Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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