I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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