please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
