I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
