after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
