Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
