The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
