party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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