he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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