Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
