You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
