I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
