he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
