I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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