May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
