This is not my ceiling
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
