Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
