Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
