we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
