i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
