I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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