she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
