never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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