i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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