why didn't you poke me back
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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