I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
