So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
