I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
