Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
