oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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