I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
