this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
