Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
