that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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