you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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