My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
