wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
