For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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