was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
whose parrot is this?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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